Stop the shaming 

Let’s talk about a topic we have been seeing a lot of in the past year, shaming. It has been the year of body shaming, fit shaming, mother shaming and now what a lot of us have been experiencing in various degrees, non mother shaming.

Stop the shaming!

Shaming

Me

 

So something happened this weekend and I gave myself a few days to cool off because I was so enraged I was going to say something that might have been a bit too harsh. People need to stop asking other people when they’re having a baby, or my favourite, why haven’t you had a baby yet? That especially makes it into a negative, as if saying that because you don’t have a baby yet, there is something wrong with you. Because surely that is all a woman is on this earth for? To get married and have a baby? What do you mean women can own a business or have a successful career? Surely not!

Shaming

Also me

An ex client of mine (of roughly 7+ years ago) saw a snapchat of mine holding my friend’s baby. I am pretty sure you know where this is going. She proceeded to say that it is time I had a baby and I must hurry up. My favourite. Hurry up. Well, as a 30-something with no child you must know that I get asked this a lot (by people who clearly don’t know me because those that do know how busy I am) and it basically annoys me to no end. I have been getting asked this question or told that I NEED to hurry up and have one, for the last 5 years now. It’s very old. It’s also VERY annoying. It’s also NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

I wrote something back to her that basically told her to shush and mind her own ovaries. My blood was boiling and I was so pissed off that I honestly wanted to say a whole lot more. This is not a friend, or someone I have even seen in the past 7 years, so to blatantly get involved in someone’s intimate business was highly offensive to me. I deleted what I was going to say and told her that I’m very focused on my career right now, and that I don’t need to “hurry up”. She said that she is 34 with 4 children already. I told her that our backgrounds are very different, and that most of us are starting at 34 these days, whereas I have  friends that started having kids at 18. Both of those are totally fine! No one should be judging either side or even asking or telling them that either way is wrong. I sure haven’t. It is very different and you can never compare the two, nor should you. She then decided to reply this back, which highly offended me, she said that they start out young so they don’t have fertility problems later on, or look like their grandmothers.

WOW. Ok so because we have kids over 30 we look like their grandmothers? Did you hear that guys? Better stock up on botox! I think that is a weak argument. I am very healthy and at a healthy weight. I am not overweight and I lead an active lifestyle. I don’t drink and I don’t smoke. There are no outside factors that I am doing to myself that would cause these problems. If I did have infertility problems, it would literally be out of my control, not because of my age or that I am unhealthy. I don’t tell her she needs to lose weight and should hurry up on that! No one should EVER say that to someone, and even though it is literally my job, I have never told someone to hurry up and lose weight or that they’re losing weight too slowly. Therefore you shouldn’t be telling someone they’re being too slow on having a baby! So I don’t know where these self righteous women get off trying to tell us what we “need” to do. I think its high time that everyone worries about their own ovaries and their own business.

STOP ASKING WHEN PEOPLE ARE HAVING CHILDREN!

What if we don’t want? What if our career is more important? What if we are having fertility problems and you are making it worse? What if we legit don’t care? What if we just had a miscarriage? What if we cannot have? What if we are pregnant right now? What if What if What if.

JUST STOP!

STOP BEING RUDE. STOP BEING NOSEY. STOP BEING A DICK. JUST STOP

Shaming

Definitely me

I sincerely hope you all stop asking us these invasive questions and worry about your own ovaries. When you ask people if they’re trying, you’re basically asking them if they’re having sex, and that’s gross. Stop that.

Think before you speak. Think before you ask questions. Stop asking things just to make conversations. Just stop. We as women are under enough stress as it is. We might be second guessing ourselves and our decisions on a daily basis and it doesn’t help having you and your questions making us stress more. I am perfectly happy with my choices right now and I don’t need your questions and prodding trying to change my mind OR undermining my authority over MY life. Please, concentrate on YOUR life and your dreams. Don’t put pressure on other people because you feel unfulfilled. Find some dreams and goals for yourself. Whether that is a health goal, getting in shape, getting into a sport, finding a hobby, starting a little side business, finding a passion project. Rather start focusing on yourself than looking to make snooping into other people’s lives your hobby. It’s healthier this way!

 

shaming

I hope those that are going through problems are doing ok and not being triggered by people asking these questions all the time. I am thinking of you.

xxx

 

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Dear Jane,
Can muscle turn to fat when I stop training?

A: No! That would be the equivalent of saying that silver can turn into gold! And although we all wish that, it can’t happen. Muscle and fat are two totally different tissues in the body. Muscle is made of lots of muscle fibers that are covered in connective tissue, and this is attached to the bone and surrounds it. When you weight train, your muscles become strong and toned, with the help of proper nutrition and rest. When you stop training for a long period of time and become inactive, your muscle becomes smaller, softer and weaker.

When we talk about fat, we are talking about adipose tissue, which is found between the skin and the muscle. Fat is actually quite important in the body, and used as energy, for insulation, and as protection surrounding the organs as a shock absorber. It affects your health when there are excess amounts of fat around the organs, especially the heart, as they have to work so much harder. The key is to eat properly and exercise daily, especially a combination of cardio and weight training, to burn off more calories than you consume.
When you do start training again after inactivity, your body has muscle memory and you will tone those muscles and lose that excess body fat in no time. So don’t worry, all is not lost. Just remember, If you don’t use it you will lose it!

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I want a flat stomach!

Dear Jane,
I want a flat stomach! It’s so hard to lose weight on my stomach and keep it flat. Must I just do like 100 crunches a day?!

A: You have various sets of stomach muscles running in your body, not just the ones we see in magazines of those sexy six-packs! These different groups of muscles start, stop and extend from different places on the spine, the ribs and the pelvis. The “six-pack” we all know and love is on the surface and visible, whereas some are deep in the body and support the spine. In order to have proper posture, your abdominal muscles work together with your back muscles to maintain this posture, and allow your body to bend and rotate. It is important to have strong abdominals and a strong core, as it helps prevent injury, helps with balance and improves performance in sport and daily activities.
It takes more than just crunches to get your tummy toned. It will probably be the hardest part of your body to get right, and the last to really POP! Unless you are genetically gifted, like say 1 in 8 people, then you are going to have to work SUPER hard! It’s a combination of eating very clean, training cardio, abdominals AND weights. It’s an all round transformation. It’s also not going to take a month. It’s going to be long and hard, but worth it. If you are willing to throw out the booze and chocolate cake, for at least 3 months, then you have the right mind set.
It’s not going to be easy, just worth it!

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Dear Jane,
What does your metabolism do? And how do you make sure you can use it to lose weight?

A: Metabolism basically refers to change and transformation which happens in the body. The body has various processes where food and other substances are converted into energy and metabolic byproducts that are used by the body. It is a much needed function where our bodies use food and other resources to repair damage, heal injury, rid the body of toxins and maintain the working parts. This basically means that metabolism is necessary and without it living organisms would die.

Your metabolism helps your body with digestion and absorption of nutrients. It is affected the most by nutrition, hydration and your physical activity. You need to have these three parts at optimum levels to achieve good health. Your metabolism will decrease when one of these is lacking and not functioning at its optimum level.
Weight loss and weight maintenance is therefore directly related to your metabolism and the way it is functioning.

Most people think that cutting calories and skipping meals is good for weight loss, but it actually decreases your metabolism. You need to stimulate your metabolic rate with other means, such as exercising. It is very bad to skip entire meals or reduce your calories by extreme amounts, because decreased metabolic rates actually cause your body to burn fewer calories and less fat. It can also cause you to store excess fat because your body thinks it is starving and needs to keep reserves of fat until its next meal.
Rather eat a well balanced diet and incorporate a fitness routine into your life and this will help speed up your metabolism and help you burn excess calories.

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Dear Jane,
I keep hearing about people having Thyroid problems. What is your thyroid?

A: Your thyroid is a small butterfly-shaped gland which is located in your neck, wrapped around the windpipe, behind and below the Adam’s apple area. It produces several hormones, of which two are very important. T3 and T4 hormones help oxygen to get into cells and make your thyroid the master gland of your metabolism, so they are very important. Your thyroid is the only gland in the body that has cells capable of absorbing iodine. The thyroid takes in iodine from the food, iodized salt or supplements, and combines it with the amino acid tyrosine. The thyroid converts the iodine/tyrosine into the hormones T3 and T4. The 3 and 4 show the number of iodine molecules present in each thyroid hormone molecule.

When your body is at optimum function, 80% of the hormone produced by the thyroid will be T4 and 20% will be T3. T3 is the more active hormone and actually functions at the cellular level, and is several times stronger than T4.
On being released by the thyroid, the T3 and T4 travel through the bloodstream. This helps the cells convert oxygen and calories into energy. This energy is then used by the body.

Women are actually at a greater risk of developing thyroid problems than men. These risks are as high as 1 in 5 chance in her lifetime, and this risk increases with age.

The thyroid hormone regulates your metabolism. Your metabolism is measured by the amount of oxygen the body uses over a specific amount of time. If your metabolism is measured at rest, it is your basal metabolic rate (BMR). Patients with low thyroid hormone levels, experience low BMR’s, and those with high thyroid hormone levels have high BMR’s.
You ideally want to have a high BMR as this means you are burning more calories at rest. And we would all like to be burning calories while we are sitting on the couch! Weight training helps to keep your BMR elevated for 6 hours after exercising. That is why it is important to incorporate it into your exercise regime.

There are a variety of factors that can contribute to the development of thyroid problems:
• Exposure to radiation
• Overconsumption of isoflavone-intensive soy products, such as soy protein, capsules, and powders
• Some drugs, such as lithium and the heart drug cordarone, can cause hypothyroidism.
• Overconsumption or shortage of iodine in the diet can also trigger some thyroid problems
• Radiation treatment for tonsils, adenoids, lymph nodes, thymus gland problems, or acne
• Overconsumption of uncooked “goitrogenic” foods, such as brussels sprouts, broccoli, rutabaga, turnips, kohlrabi, radishes, cauliflower, African cassava, millet, babassu, cabbage and kale
• Surgical treatments for thyroid cancer, goiter, or nodules, in which all or part of the thyroid is removed, leave you hypothyroid
• Radioactive iodine treatment (RAI) for Graves’ disease and hyperthyroidism typically leave patients hypothyroid

You have a higher risk of developing thyroid disease if, among a variety of factors:

You have a family member with a thyroid problem
You have another pituitary or endocrine disease
You or a family member have another autoimmune disease
You’ve been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
You’ve been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia
You’re female
You’re over 60
You’ve just had a baby
You’re near menopause or menopausal
You’re a smoker
You’ve been exposed to radiation
You’ve been treated with lithium
You’ve been exposed to certain chemicals (i.e., perchlorate, fluoride)

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