Ok I’ll admit it, I got lockdown burnout.
I was trying to do ALL OF THE THINGS! You know, like they told us to. Read the books, do the crafts, create the brand, listen to the podcasts, I laughed at the reading books and binge watching Netflix, because how with a baby?! Not happening…
But, I was hustling more than ever! That’s what happens when your main business entails crowds of people dancing together in the outdoors. Or retreats. Or personal training. It’s been the hardest thing for me ever, trying to scrape together 1/4 of the salary I used to. I’ve been hustling trying to do online workouts, and online challenges, and record all the podcasts (which costs me money and doesn’t make me any), and online self love workshops and be a mom and and and. I was exhausted.
I was trying to help everyone else first and from helping them train and heal and learn, it would help me. Except it wasn’t. I was pushing so hard and it was so much work without the numbers. So after minimal sleep, from working at night and a teething baby, I decided it was enough. Take a step back. Breathe. Regroup.
Luckily a friend saw this too and recommended to cut down on the weekly Sunday workshops and do two a month. So that’s a welcome change. I’ll be doing two Self Love Sunday’s a month and not four. As much as I love them and love the energy, it took so much work creating them the whole week, I was exhausted! Couple that with creating a journal and cards and a subscription box, and I had no time for ME!
So I’m now starting the days slower. Which puts less pressure on Pey Pey to be older than she is and to “allow mommy to work”. I mean how could I expect her to be anything other than her actual age?! She’s a baby and I was expecting her to behave like a 3 year old. I was getting frustrated that she was so needy the whole day and I couldn’t get anything done. I kept rattling off my to do list in my head. So sure, I don’t get much work done during the day, and then I’m hustling on deadline, but at least I’m being more present, more intentional and more selective with what I’m giving my energy. That in itself is a huge lesson.
So good bye to burnout. Good bye to unrealistic expectations. Good bye to living the rat race life, even if I can’t pay the bills! Hello to breakfast with Pey Pey watching My Little Pony, her morning nap on me in the bed while I work on my phone, coffee in the garden with her and all the sleepy selfies.
How are you feeling? Have you been caught up in Lockdown burnout?
If you’d like to join my Self Love Sundays they’re just R140 per session! Here’s the June lineup:
I hope you’re staying safe and sane!